The Silent Fart

By Ballerina Mogau Nisoanne

You may think if you let one go silently, you'd be reducing the embarrassment, but the way it is traced is the real proof of the crime.

The silent but violent fart has too many issues and it's just not worth it. The problem with it is that it affects the entire situation on too many levels. When you release one, it takes less than three seconds to notice, and shortly after, bloodthirsty eyes will be scanning for the guilty face responsible.

Now, you can play along and look around yourself but you're guilty of now causing the kind of situation where everybody suspects and mistrusts each other. That person that was next to you and probably knows it was you is where the real embarrassment lays. Not only do they believe you did it, but also believe you tried to get away with it. At this point the crime and insult. Enter the point of frustration...

All of this can be avoided. Silent farts are aggressive because they go straight to the nose. You may not hear them, but your nose will. Add frustration to the mix, it becomes a nightmare. Because there was no sound (& nobody to blame), the stench is heightened.

When you let one go without a sound, nothing dampens the smell. When sound energy is evolved via the machine gun rumbling, the smell is dissipated by the escaping sound which makes it smell less. Letting a machine gun go is also a "bigger person" thing too. There's no deceit and there is a consideration for the greater good. It makes for less irritated people and more openly victimized people.

It will be a noble thing to do because you'll be embracing human nature, and considerate in avoiding the tension that would otherwise erupt.

You will be guilty of being partially ill-mannered and not for trying to get away with murder...