Transitioning: A Birth Story

Jillmarie Kawaoka

Holding him

Holding space to heal

Holding space to grieve

Holding on to expectations

Just barely holding on

Learning to let go

Letting go of expectations

Letting go of pain

Letting go of memories held viscerally in the body

Letting go of “not like this” and “why me”

Letting myself go

Feeling sharp pain of fresh agony alongside the ache of old wounds callused over

Holding it all together and letting it all fall apart

Sitting with the pieces

Space and stillness

In the darkness

A thread lets go, unraveling

Something else begins

A new truth

A new way to feel

A new growth takes root in space that couldn’t exist

Before the devastation

Before the destruction

A new life for an old soul

A new peace of mind to grow over the pain and doubt and disappointment

A new strength is called on and realized and takes over

Until the rhythm of holding on and letting go creates a steady heartbeat

And in the quiet of acceptance

New life is born